


Every First Day

by eafay70



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Girlfriends/No Wives, Developing Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 16:22:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16122293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eafay70/pseuds/eafay70
Summary: Nate's summers with Braden, as told through a shower, two runs, and another shower.





	Every First Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [somethingnerdythiswaycomes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingnerdythiswaycomes/gifts).



> Hi! :) I didn't know about Nate spending his summers at Braden's until you mentioned it in your prompt ideas, and I'm very glad you mentioned it because this was fun to write!
> 
> You can read about Nate's real-life summers with Braden and his family [here](https://russianmachineneverbreaks.com/2016/09/03/nathan-walker-is-living-with-braden-holtby-and-making-tea-for-his-wife/)
> 
> Nate's ACL injury occurred in Jan. 2015 while he was playing with the Hershey Bears (Caps affiliate).

_Summer 2015_  
Nate woke up about an hour before his alarm was set to go off. It took a few moments for him to realize where he was: Braden Holtby’s guest room. And today was the first day of summer rehab with the Washington Capitals for his stupid ACL tear.

It was fair to say that Nate had never felt so nervous in his life.

He stood up slowly and made his way to the guest bathroom, where he brushed his teeth and washed his face in an attempt to calm his nerves. It didn’t really help, but he didn’t want to take a shower yet in case the noise woke up Braden, so instead he sat at the desk and breathed in and out slowly. He’d already done a lot of nerve-wracking things for the sake of hockey - what was a little offseason rehab compared to leaving his homeland for a whole other continent as a teenager, after all?

He sighed and shook his head. This was the NHL, more or less. It didn’t get any bigger than this, and trying to convince himself otherwise was idiotic. With a self-indulgent groan, he dropped his head in his hands and tried not to think - worrying wasn’t going to change anything, so maybe his best bet was to just grin and bear it? To fake it until he made it?

“Nate?” Braden asked from the other side of the closed bedroom door. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” Nate called out in response, standing up as Braden walked in. “Did I wake you?”

“No, no,” Braden reassured him. “I couldn’t sleep, so I was walking towards the kitchen, and then I heard you groaning, so I wondered if you needed a pep talk or something.”

“Oh.” Nate shrugged, trying to look casual. “I guess...I guess I don’t know if it makes sense to be so nervous about this, you know? Like, I’ve done big stuff before - moving to Europe, moving here - so this shouldn’t be a big deal?”

“It’s the NHL,” Braden pointed out. “It’d be weird if you didn’t think this was a big deal. And even if this wasn’t the NHL, you’d be allowed to be nervous - it’s your knee, you know? It’s a big deal for guys like us.”

“Fair enough,” Nate mused. “Why couldn’t you sleep, though?”

Braden shrugged. “Happens sometimes. Nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about.”

“Hey!” Nate objected. “I’m not little!”

“Compared to me, yes, you are,” Braden chuckled. “I’m just teasing you.”

Nate laughed, deliberately not thinking about the other adjective Braden had used just yet. “I’m going to take a shower…”

“I’ll get started on breakfast, then.” Braden closed the door behind him.

With a long exhale, Nate headed back to the bathroom and turned on the shower, his thoughts turning back to Braden’s choice of words. Did Braden really think he was pretty? Was Braden trying to tell him that he was into guys?

...Or was Nate overthinking everything due to his tendency to crush on goalies? He stepped into the shower and shook his head. If this summer was going to go smoothly, then he had to prevent any awkwardness with his host. And that meant he had to keep everything feelings-related buried, just like he’d been doing ever since he realized he liked guys more than the world of professional hockey wanted him to like guys.

Did it make Nate happy to have to do so? No. But he couldn’t change it, so he would stick to being a good guest and friend to Braden - nothing more.

 

_Summer 2016_  
Nate woke to the sound of his alarm. He sat up and turned it off before properly remembering where he was: back at Braden’s for the summer. Fortunately, Nate wasn’t injured this time around; unfortunately, his crush on Braden was back with a vengeance, or maybe it had never really gone away.

Nate sighed as he got out of bed, got dressed, and quietly made his way out of the house to go for a run, letting his thoughts march their way through his head. Over the course of the previous summer, he and Braden had become good friends, more than Nate might have expected from a guest-and-host arrangement. Other than the one early mention of Nate’s “pretty little head,” Braden had never hinted at anything resembling an attraction to Nate - or to any other guy, for that matter. Then again, Nate had deliberately kept the fact that he liked guys to himself, as per usual, so he supposed it was possible that Braden had been doing the same thing…

“No,” Nate told himself firmly as he returned to the house. Wild dreaming and pining wouldn’t do him any good. Braden was his friend and host, and that was more than enough. With his determination newly reset, Nate decided to focus on the rest of the day.

After a quick shower, Nate got dressed and headed to the kitchen, where Braden was already getting breakfast ready. “Morning, Holts.”

“Morning, Nate.” Braden turned around and smiled. “Ready for another summer?”

“I think so.” Nate returned the smile as he walked to the counter. “Anything I can do to help?”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head - just have a seat at the table.”

Nate sighed and did as he was told, not bothering to reply to Braden’s comment. Why was his willpower already being tested?

 

_Summer 2017_  
Another summer, another stay at Braden’s. This time, when Nate woke up in the guest room, the first thing he did was frown at the thought of seeing Braden again.

Nate’s crush on Braden had never really gone away. Their friendship had grown over the past two summers, and they’d even stayed in touch over the past season. That, combined with Nate’s new contract with the Capitals, meant that staying with Braden for another summer of training made perfect sense. But it also meant burying his feelings yet again, and Nate wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep that up.

He got dressed and headed outside, glaring at his feet as he began to run. The idea forming in his head was a very, very bad idea. “Don’t you dare,” he told himself before turning down the street. The world of professional sports wasn’t fond of male athletes liking guys, so coming out to anyone would be very, very dangerous to his career.

...But all the stress he was feeling probably wasn’t good for his career, either. And if his plan worked, he’d be alleviating that stress a little bit. Maybe it would be worth it? He ran around the neighborhood for a while, thinking and thinking.

Nate returned to the house and was surprised to see Braden in the foyer. “You okay, man?” Braden asked.

“Yeah, I’m just going to shower,” Nate replied.

“No rush - I’ll be in the kitchen.”

Nate quickly showered, got dressed, and headed down. Braden was sitting at the table, a worried look on his face. “I didn’t hear anything from your room,” he explained. “I didn’t know if you’d forgotten to set your alarm or something…”

“No, no, I actually set my alarm for earlier than usual so I could go for a run,” Nate said quickly, sitting down across from Braden. “I was just...thinking.”

“Ah,” Braden nodded. “Anything I can help you think through?” 

“Not now, no.” Nate gulped before continuing to speak. “I know what I’m going to do.”

“Good,” Braden smiled.

Nate stared at the table, not wanting his eyes to reflect the depths of his feelings towards Braden. “I’m gay. I’m not saying I want to be out, but I do want someone to know, and you’re my best friend on the team, so -”

“Nate.” Braden sounded...well, Nate wasn’t sure beyond ‘not angry or disgusted,’ so Nate looked up, exhaling when he saw Braden’s usual smile. “I’m bi. I’ve never told anyone on any of my teams, but if you trust me, then I trust you.”

Even in his wildest dreams, Nate couldn’t have predicted that particular reaction. “You like guys?!”

“I like guys,” Braden confirmed. “Want to compare types while we make breakfast? I like them brunet.”

“Sure.” Nate sighed in relief and followed Braden to the counter. “I like them tall.”

Nate decided not to overthink any of the information Braden provided - he decided to simply appreciate how much more relaxed he felt now that someone else knew.

 

_Summer 2018_  
Nate woke up with a very familiar headache. While part of him still couldn’t believe they’d won the Stanley Cup, he had no trouble remembering that fact because it felt like he’d been drunk or hungover ever since, including right now on his first day back at Braden’s.

With a loud yawn, Nate got out of bed and headed to the guest bathroom, where he turned on the shower and smiled at himself in the mirror. Coming out to Braden had proven to be a good decision, as it had helped strengthen their friendship over the course of the season. Nate’s smile faltered as he got into the shower and realized he was still keeping a big secret from Braden...but then the cumulative liquid courage kicked in and he decided to change that.

After his shower, he got dressed and made his way to the kitchen, where Braden had started on breakfast. Before sobriety could change his mind, Nate cleared his throat, waited for Braden to turn around, and said, “I’ve had a crush on you for years, and it isn’t going anywhere.”

Braden blinked, then smiled. “Ditto.” He walked up to Nate and kissed his forehead softly. “We’ll discuss this further after we eat...champ.”

“Okay,” Nate replied, also smiling. A Stanley Cup and requited feelings - who would have thought?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :) Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!  
> And on the topic of appreciation: my heartfelt thanks to AS for your beta work! <3


End file.
